Why You Should Not Have To Shave Your Newborn Baby's Hair Until Bald

Baby's Hair Cut Ceremony.
Photo credit: ummu uswah.

In Javanese culture, shaving a newborn baby's hair until bald, after the age of 35 days, is a common thing. Back then, I was experienced the same thing as in Javanese culture, had my hair shaved until bald by my late grandmother.

But, I was not doing it to both of my children. My first daughter had a thick and black hair when she was born. It seemed a little bit weird, if I had to shave her hair until bald. Unlike me when I was a baby, I only cut a little bit of my children's hair after they aged 35 days.

The Javanese Culture of Selapanan

The Javanese ritual of cutting newborn baby's hair aged 35 days, or called as selapan age, exactly at the baby's Javanese weton day of birth. For example: If a baby was born in Sabtu Legi, June 1, 2013. Then the baby's selapanan ceremony will be held in Sabtu Legi, July 6, 2013.

The second Javanese ritual is for a baby aged seven lapan, or 245 days is called tedak sinten, which means to get down in the ground ceremony. Based on the book of Primbon Betaljemur Adammakna by Kanjeng Pangeran Harya Tjakraningrat, the ritual ceremony may not only be held when the baby is at the age of 245 days, but also at the age of 70 days, 105 days, 140 days, 175 days and 210 days. The book is also not mentioned that the newborn baby's hair should be shaved until bald.

The Moslem Tradition of Akika

90% of Indonesian people are moslem, and shaving a newborn baby's hair until bald is a must thing to do, while performing aqiqah, or akika, within seven days after birth, according to the hadith of Ashabussunah (HR: Imam Ahmad, Ashhabus Sunan, and At Tirmidzi).

Is it true that shaving a newborn baby's hair until bald, will make the hair grows thicker?

Indonesian people, especially the Javanese believed that shaving a newborn baby's hair until bald, will make the hair grows thicker. Just like when grasses or leaves are cut, to grow them faster.

The fact, hair is different from grasses or leaves. Hair grows from the follicle beneath the surface of the scalp. The hair growth rates are different in every people. The genetics play a key role in the hair growth. The average rate is about one and a half inch per month. So, whatever we do to the hair on the outside, will have no effects on the hair that is growing in the follicle. Both my children's hair from they were born with, had lost all them, a little by litle, until the age of a year old.

Fontanel, The Door of The Soul

If the eyes are the window of soul, the Javanese people believed that human's ubun-ubun, or fontanel, the crown of the head, is the door of the soul. When a man die, his soul is came out from his fontanel to be taken by the death angel. And so is when a three months fetus in the uterus is given a life by The Lord through its fontanel.

Based on my children's experience, both of them were more immune to diseases, and only sufferred from a light cough, cold or fever, that should not have to stay in the hospital to receive intensive medication. I believed that their immunity had to do with their fontanel, in which was still covered with their hair.

My second son had a thin fontanel in his bald hair since birth. Until he was at the age of four months, his fontanel was still softer than his elder sister when she was at the same age. Because it, I grew my son hair until he was at the age of three years old, and only cut it once when he aged selapan, or 35 days old. Back then, everybody always thought that my son was a pretty girl, due to his long thin hair.

Why do I say that fontanel is the door of the soul? Have you ever been with a person who is at the end of his life? Did you notice the temperature of the his body? The cold of his body rise up from the feet to the head?

So, the Javanese ritual was different from the Moslem tradition, in doing the shaving of a newborn baby's hair. Nowadays, most Indonesian people are combined both ritual, not just in seven days, but after the baby aged 35 days old, whether it will be until the hair is bald, or just a little bit.

Cat's in The Cradle

A fruit fell never far from its tree. An original song from Harry Chapin that sung again by Ugly Kid Joe really reminds me. Ugly Kid Joe is one of my favorite band when I was a teenage. If you are a father and have a son, perhaps you should read below lyric from the song Cats in The Cradle by Ugly Kid Joe.

My child arrived just the other day.
Came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
He was talking before I knew it.
And as he grew, he said, I'm gonna be like you, Dad. You know I'm gonna be like you.

Chorus:
And the cats in the cradle, and the silver spoon.
Little boy blue, and the man in the moon.
When you coming home?
Son, I don't know when, we'll get together then. You know we'll have a lot of good time then.

Well, my son turned ten just the other day.
He said, Thanks for the ball, Dad.
Come on! Lets play!
Could you teach me to throw?,
I said, Not today, I got a lot to do.
He said, That's okay!
And he walked away, and he smiled, and he said,
You know, I'm gonna be like him, yeah. You know, I'm gonna be like him.

Chorus

Well, he came from college just the other day.
So much like a man, I just had to say,
I'm proud of you. Could you sit for a while?
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later! Can I have them please?

Chorus

I've long since retired, my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I'd like to see if you don't mind.
He said, I'd love to, Dad, if I could find the time. You see my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu, But it's sure nice talkin to you, Dad. It's been sure nice talkin to you.
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me. He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.

Chorus 2x

What we can learn from the lyric, is to appreciate on what we have got. Our most valuable treasure! Your son in this case. If you are a father, you must love your son more than your love to your daughter, and pay more attention to your daughter's manner than to your son! What do you think then?

Quality of Sleeping for a Happy Baby

Does your baby usually revealing a sullen face and inclined to be fussy, when woke up in the morning? A baby who is getting out of bed without a smile, can be categorized as an unhappy baby. If the condition continues to recur, it would affect the baby's growth conditions.

Sleep is an optimal process for children growth, especially for the development of brain cells. A baby aged 0 to 6 month will spend all day in their bed, and you shouldn't disturb your baby's sleeping time. A baby is usually woke up from sleep at night for 3 to 5 times, or even more. This is because of baby's ability is not able to distinguish the time, whether it's a day or night. A baby aged below 3 months old can't see very well, due to baby's eyes are still on the developing process. So, turn off your camera's flash, when you want to take picture of your baby. Flash light from your camera, especially a xenon flash, will hurt your baby's eyes.

Based on my experience with my children, when my elder daughter aged a month old, she slept with room lights on at night. Because when I turned off the lights, suddenlly she woke up and cried immediately. Fortunately, I was helped for a full month by my favorite TV show, a live broadcast of World Cup 2006 soccer match.

This didn't apply on the second month. At the age of 2 months, I tried to teach my daughter to distinguish between day and night, also taught her to sleep well at night. Every time she woke up crying, my wife and I had never lifted her up from the bed, or even carried her out from my bedroom. Enough with the breast-fed by my wife, she then went back to sleep. It's just the same when she was pooping and peeing. I purposely didn't get to put disposable diapers on my daughter, especially at night.

The result was, she had managed to distinguish between day and night, when she was 3 months old. When she woke up in the morning, she were always showing a smile. She also rarely cry at night. But if she did, once upon a time, she cried for almost an hour without stopping. The incident was repeated until 3 times, it happened when she was aged under 6 months old. Older people once said to me that if a baby cries endlessly, it can be caused by disruption of the delicate creatures, such superstitious beliefs, but it's true.

Sidoarjo, Indonesia, January 23, 2008. 2 days old Michael got his 1st kiss from his sister.

When Michael was born, since the age of 1 day, he slept with room lights off. Wait a minute..!? You may wonder? How come my son could get home on the day after my wife gave birth on him? My wife gave birth on both of my children, were not in a hospital, but in midwife's home clinic. The day Michael was born, I carried my wife to the clinic at 5 am, and Michael was born at 9 am. At 4 pm on the same day, they both were allowed to go home by the midwife.

Why did a day old Michael could able to sleep with room lights off at night? It all because of his elder sister, who aged 20 months, was already used to sleeping with the lights off. My daughter woke up instantly at midnight, when suddenly I turned on the light to change her brother's diaper.

I can ensure you that both of my children are categorized to be happy babies, in which the characteristics are:

• Always smile when wake up in the morning.
• Wake up at night less than 4 times.
• When your baby's waking up in the middle of the night, will be able to go back to sleep again.

The quality and quantity of sleeping for children will determine the level of their emotion and intellect. Children aged under 5 years old should have at least 9 hours of sleeping at night. You should avoid putting a TV in your child's bedroom, it will reduce your child's sleeping time.

Benefits of Breastfeeding for Mother and Infant Health

Living in the modern world with everything are so practical and instant, impact on people's point of view, and their lifestyles. In order to fulfill her own needs for lifestyle, increasing family income, or to support her husband, a mother then became a career woman. They sometimes overlook the benefits of breastfeeding, or do a nursing career in their own home.

Best career for a woman is to become a housewife, because behind a successful man, there's an amazing woman.

I guess the term above is a long time history. Nowadays, women and men are equal in positions. Women can do what men do, even to some jobs that not all men can't do. Too many very happy singles career women in Japan and Singapore, are made both countries low on birth rate.

Most of career women who gave birth, only got a small leave of absence for a maximum of 1-3 months. With 1-3 months on leave, they often not used it optimally. Most of them were too lazy to breastfeed their babies. A baby blues syndrom often infected on a lazy mother.

They choose practical way by giving their children a cow or soya formula milk, and hired a nanny. Though the period of leave should be utilized by breastfeeding, and nursing her baby alone.

Why should you suffer carrying your baby for 9 months, if in the end, your child called the nanny as a mother?

Generally, a breastfeeding initiation is started 15 minutes after a baby born. Breastfeeding should be exclusively for 3 to 6 months, because of age 0 to 6 months are infant's golden ages. At the age which a baby's growth required essential nutrients for its body resistance. All of them contained in all mothers breast milk, not only from baby's own mother. If a mother can not breastfeed her own baby due to some reasons, there're no reasons to give their babies a formula milk derived from animals.

Son of man must be fed on a human rather than animal milk.

A baby who consumed breast milk would be more immune to diseases, like pneumonia, diarrhea, and cancer. An exclusive breastfeeding is also proven to suppress an inherited allergy, cause by genetic. Infant allergy is widely occurred in children younger than 2 years, especially under 3 months. For a mother, the benefits of breastfeeding beside to prevent breast cancer are, minimizing the possibility of a mother suffering from diabetes, osteoarthritis, and osteoporosis.

Based on my own experience, my wife gave both my children an exclusive breastfeeding. For my elder daughter, it was until her aged 12 months, but for her younger brother, it was until my son aged 2 years old. Though my wife milk were no longer an exclusive anymore, and also useful for my son nutrients needs. Well, I guess you know why do boys like it most, don't you?

Techno House Music vs Symphonic Black Metal

女神 & 天使
Malang, East Java, Indonesia. Dec 26, 2009.

I had an experience with both of my children when they were still in the womb of my wife. Many articles say that classical music can help infants during brain development in the womb. But what I've done was very different.

On my wife's first pregnancy, ranging in age from 4 months of pregnancy, I always play the songs from Theatre Of Tragedy, from album Aegis before bed. I created a CD player alarm to wake up with the same song. Track 1 of Aegis album titled Cassandra is the wake up alarm. This happened until my daughter was born.

Cassandra track from Theatre of Tragedy becomes our (my wife and I) favorite song. My wife did not really fond of a type of song like symphonic black metal before. After my daughter was born, I never play that song again. Cause my baby daughter was not fond of it after she was born.

Same as before, when my wife was pregnant with her second, from the age of 5 months of pregnancy, as always I play songs before bed. This time from the album Elements of Life by Tiësto. My little daughter were never felt disturb with the song while she were sleeping. This happens until my son were born.

What happened then??

After 4 years later, I found nearly the same character on both of them. My daughter was rampart, selfish and own way. Vice versa with her younger brother. What differs is the level of maturity. My son is more easily made to understand and want to give in than her sister. Despite of their age difference is only 20 months, my daughter never budge on her brother.

I always give understanding to both of them that they had to share each other. When my daughter was 4 years old, I never bought special toys for girl. But I always bought a toy that can be played together, in hoping that they can share.

But that is not true a year later. When both my children have their own favorite toys. My daughter prefers to play Barbie dolls and then my son loves Thomas The Train Engine toys. But still, they are still exchanging their toys. Let see what will happen to my children in the next 5 years.