Lie, a false statement made with the intention of deceiving, is often done by everyone. If lying is become usual habits since children age, it will create big troubles for a family.
Understanding your children personality is very important to overcome their lying habits. There are many lying acts which appear in children, such as:, turning over the facts, weighting some news or informations, and projecting (blame on others as the black sheep).
The Cause of Lying Attitude
Find the cause! That is the best way to observe the motives, or reasons, why a child becomes a lying child. Here are some of the motives:
- Self Fortress
Fear of getting a punishment from their parent, are making children to build their own fortress. Parents should not always reward their children with punishment, if they make mistakes.- Trauma
Recent activity, bullying for example, which brought bad memory can disturb children's mind. The trauma that they just had, is made them not to tell the truth.- Love and Trust
Parents with 24/7 jobs are sometimes forgetting their main job, become parent. The need of love from their parent becomes the trigger. Children are lying also because they seek an opportunity to gain trust from their parent.- False Hallucination
Children who do not have a brother or sister, sometimes is making their own imaginary friend. They often play by themselves and talking alone. This kind of expressions intend to create false acts, in order that their parent is willing to give them a brother or sister.- A Good Deed
A boy came home with his shirt was covered with muds. His mother was angry, and asking the cause. The boy then said that, a passing car had thrown the muds from its tires on him. But the truth was, he just helped a little girl who accidently grabbed his shirt with her muddy hands.- Gratitude
Children sometimes are telling false story about themselves, in an intention to create positive image. Competition with their brother or sister, makes children try harder to get positive gratitude from their parent.
How to Overcome Children's Lying Attitude
Practicing honesty at children's early age is very important. The first is by trusting your children to do whatever they want. Every children are needed to be trusted on doing anything (good things).
Parents should avoid on raising their children with too many punishments. A boy who raised with punishments, will make him more creative to find new ways to protect himself, this includes of telling lies.
Do not always blame on your children mistakes. It will only make them more desperate, having no stand-point, useless person with no hope, losing their confidences, and even having mentally ill. Another consequence, they will believe that their lying habits are the best thing to do.
Parents should teach their children about the virtue of honesty. There is no such thing called white lie
. By telling the truth is better than telling lie, no matter the truth hurts. In some heavy cases, it will need the help from a shrink.
Being Good Parent
Children tend to be critical about everything, and they would learn by examples. Parents could not teach honesty to their children, if they do not always tell the truth.
Every children deserve of getting loves and affections. Parents should support whenever their children were having troubles. By being their best friend in sorrow, will make them to be an open minded, and not an introvert person.
Home sweet home. It starts at home, the very small society. The first place for children to learn on how to socialize. A warm family is the key to the development of children's characters and personalities. A good parent would not pass away the development of their children since early ages.
Reference:
Mengapa Anak Suka Berbohong?
by Anna Adhiyatmi Riantobi
Kana, 12 Tahun VII, Desember 2012.
